LifeWay Research just released some new research on parenting, particularly the role of faith in parenting. (If you did not see our recent release on parenting, it might be good to take a look at that data as well.)
LifeWay Research looks at role of faith in parenting
NASHVILLE, Tenn., 3/17/09 - The vast majority of parents hope their children grow up to live good lives, but for many, parental success does not include faith in God - even among parents who are evangelical Christians, according to a new study from LifeWay Research.
The national survey of 1,200 adults with children under 18 at home was conducted by LifeWay Research, the research arm of LifeWay Christian Resources, for the new book The Parent Adventure: Preparing your children for a lifetime with God by Rodney and Selma Wilson and Scott McConnell (B&H Publishing Group).
The study found the most common definitions of successful parenting include children having good values (25 percent), being happy adults (25 percent), finding success in life (22 percent), being a good person (19 percent), graduating from college (17 percent), and living independently (15 percent). Being godly or having faith in God is mentioned by 9 percent of respondents.
Parents who attend religious services weekly are particularly likely to emphasize faith in God, but only 24 percent of them identify that as a mark of parenting success, the research found.
"We are seeing an ever-widening gulf in American believers between the private faith and a faith that is passed on," said McConnell, who serves as associate director of LifeWay Research. "Instead, we too often see an emphasis on guiding children to a social morality and toward an as-yet undefined 'happy' life."
Influences and goals
While the vast majority (83 percent) believes parents should be most responsible for a child's spiritual development, only 35 percent say their religious faith is one of the most important influences on their parenting, according to the study. This leaves nearly half (48 percent) who acknowledge their role in their child's spiritual development, but fail to consider their own religious faith among the most important influences on their parenting.
Pushing out to either end of the religious spectrum, the study found that almost a third of all parents either have no religious faith or say religious faith has little or no influence on their parenting. Conversely, among born-again Christians, 29 percent say faith is not among the most important influences on their parenting. Stetzer added, "When self-identifying Christians are not able to say that faith is a priority for parenting, we should not be surprised at the prevalence of church drop outs in the younger generation."
Asked if they have a written plan or goal for what they want to accomplish as parents, a full 33 percent say they have no plan or goal at all. Among those who attend religious services weekly and evangelicals, 76 percent say they have a plan, either written or unwritten.
Fears and regrets
In contrast to visions of success, many parents are fearful for their children's futures and some harbor regrets about their parenting, according to the research. A full 82 percent agree they feel fearful when they think about what kind of world their children will face as adults. Asked if they feel a lot of regret about what they've done as parents, 28 percent of parents agree, although only 5 percent feel strongly about it.
Almost 6 in 10 parents (59 percent) indicate they want their children to experience pain and disappointment so they can learn from it, but about 3 in 4 parents (74 percent) say they try to keep their own pain hidden from their children. More than 1 in 3 parents (34 percent) say they worry when they think about their children 'leaving the nest.' A full 15 percent say the prospect of their children growing up and leaving home is simply too painful to think about.
Only 14 percent of all parents say they feel they are very familiar with what the Bible has to say about parenting, even though 77 percent identify themselves as Christians. Among those who attend religious services weekly, that number rises to 36 percent.
"One of parents' ultimate responsibilities is to prepare their children for adulthood," McConnell said. "This study may hint at why many young adults are spiritually underdeveloped - their parents have given little focus to matters of faith."
Thank you for this great article I bookmarked it to read it again later.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom. God bless you
Makes me wonder if when we teach the Bible, the church grows and matures, and when we watch the church contract and die, we engage in social studies.
This, more than anything, makes me sad. I wish that as high schoolers my husband and I had a deeper commitment to following Christ alone, not the world's or even our parent's definition of success. We would've made many fewer mistakes and would have different lives now.
Our supreme goal as parents is to raise children who know God, have seen him work, are able to communicate the power of the cross, and who will follow God wherever he leads including: the ministry, the professional world, the visual or performing arts, or academia. I don't expect them to necessarily to choose ministry as their vocation, but I do want them to choose it as their lifestyle.
God help us to teach our church members to first pursue God themselves, then to teach their children how to do the same.
This very thing has been my observation and has saddened and surprised me. I am a College Financial Aid Planner, and I see the lack of commitment to the Christian faith manifested through too many parents that are willing to send their child to a godless/atheistic college at a crucial time in the child's life.
For this and other reasons I wrote a book called "A Heavenly College Education on an Earthly Budget."
It is a personal passion and ministry of mine to get the word out to parents about the consequences of not helping their child gain a conviction and commitment to the faith early on and through the college years.
The book is available on my website www.LeeMartinson.com or on sites such as Amazon, or Barnes and Noble.
I am saddened to see these statistics. These results, in my eyes, coincide with the NSYR that shows that our faith commitments will mirror our parents' commitments for the most part.
As a youth minister, it wraps up in a double edge sword. I don't want to leave parents out of direct ministry to them. I want to minister to and with them but at the same time, will they hear what I or someone else has to say?
I need to reread these articles and digest them some more as there are ministry points here that need to be considered.
Despite the results of this study, we can't give up on parents. We, as ministers, as responsible to provide as many strategic opportunities as possible to encourage spiritual growth both personally, as parents, and as a family.
How to go about that effectively . . . . when I find out how I'll write the book. lol
Speaking as a father of 3 daughters, I can relate to the tendency of looking inward for the strength to continue to on. There is something about us, more than like pride, that keeps us from revealing our true hearts to others and asking for help/guidance.
I would be curious to know a demograhic of those parents who grew up in single parent houses vs. those who grew up with both dad & mom. I wonder if there isn't a correlation there. . . .
Thanks for your work.
I just came across your article, and although it's a "late" comment, I felt I had to comment. I completely agree - but I wonder.... How many of those parents did not receive Biblical instruction themselves? I know that my husband and I seek to raise our child (soon to be children) in an intentional way that they would grow to know and follow our Lord. But, neither of us were raised in homes where we were "taught" about prayer, Bible study, scripute memory, service, etc... So we are flying by the seats of our pants and clinging onto every morsel of instruction we can find. I came across your article as I was seeking statistics to help us understand how wide spread this need was to train parents in HOW to train their kids. Our church is comprised of more and more parents who came to the Lord as adults and never saw this Biblical instruction modeled. So now we are banding together to figure it out. There are resources our there, but you have to be willing to go search for them.... I so desperately desire for our churches to see the need to help us learn how to lead our kids in knowing the Lord.