Thanks so much to Ray Chang for his post last week on Creating a Culture of Internship in the Church.
Next week -- Rice Broocks, senior minister of the Bethel World Outreach Center.
Jason Hayes is a speaker, author, church consultant, and strategist for Threads, a movement connecting young adults to God and the Church. He is the co-author of Lost and Found: The Younger Unchurched and The Churches That Reach Them. Most recently, he is the author of Blemished: Confronting Empty Religion.
Jason's work has been featured in numerous websites, articles, and magazines across the US and internationally. Having served on staff at churches and with para-church organizations, he is committed to equipping leaders across the globe. Jason also speaks directly into the lives of this generation at churches, conferences, university chapels, and various other venues.
Jason's post today is on mentoring. He will be available to interact in the comments.
Mentoring: Intentionality vs. Formality
Quick Note: I wrote my post without knowledge of Ray's post from last week. After looking at it, I just want to be clear - I completely affirm Ray's thoughts and believe that we must consider the processes in how we train those in vocational ministry before we throw them to the proverbial deep end of the pool. With that said, the point of this post is to discuss how we mentor the younger generation within our church body. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comment section.
We don't hear a lot about mentoring these days, do we? (Except from Ray and the great comments from many of you last week) That's unfortunate. Maybe that's because we've shoved it behind the curtain of leadership development and coaching networks. Or maybe it's because we're too busy mentoring to actually discuss it. Or maybe it's because we're not doing it at all. Or maybe, just maybe, we've programmed the absolute life out of it that no one finds it appealing anymore.
Jesus' call to His disciples was, "Follow Me. Walk where I'm walking. Go where I'm going. And along the way, I've got some things to teach you."
Jesus didn't necessarily seek out a fig tree, a field, or a farmer. He was walking by those things, and He used those moments that naturally occurred to teach spiritual truth. But He had to be walking with people in order to have that opportunity.
When people from an older generation invite those younger than them into their lives, they have that chance. Whether eating a meal, going to the movies, or having a conversation, the natural circumstances emerge to see and seize teaching opportunities through sharing life together.
Though some specific direction can be emphasized in those relationships, the greatest learning moments will surface during everyday occurrences as they live life together--funerals, weddings, meals, baseball games, and family events. While mentoring does require time and vulnerability, the biggest key is intentionality. That's what Jesus demonstrated as He walked side by side with others.
Sometimes we confuse intentionality with formality. It's not about blocking extra hours (that you likely don't have) for "mentoring time." Instead, it's about mentoring people within the existing hours that you do have. Regimented weekly meetings are fine for some, but they'll never be as effective as simply bringing others into your everyday life.
Posted on July 29, 2010 at 11:37 AM ~ 10 Comments
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Thanks Ed for the info. I really appreciated the last two paragraphs. Jason, how do you distinguish between discipleship and mentoring-or do you? Also explain the role of mentoring in light of leadership development? I would also like to ask Jason his opinion about which he believes is better...a church raising up leadership and staff within the body or hiring leadership from outside who are seminary trained. Hope I haven't opened a can of worms...
Thanks Ed for the info. I really appreciated the last two paragraphs. Jason, how do you distinguish between discipleship and mentoring-or do you? Also explain the role of mentoring in light of leadership development? I would also like to ask Jason his opinion about which he believes is better...a church raising up leadership and staff within the body or hiring leadership from outside who are seminary trained. Hope I haven't opened a can of worms...
Bob, thanks for stopping by and beginning the conversation. For me, I personally find that mentoring relationships provide a more complete angle towards discipleship. Some may see the two as one in the same. I look at mentoring as the primary tool in discipleship. With this said, I've participated in programs/classes that were content driven with the intent of discipleship. Many identify these as discipleship tools and I would affirm their value. In fact, I've grown through many of these offerings. I simply have been most impacted personally and have had greater impact on others through discipleship that is both content and relationship driven.
As for church staffing, I have seen both approaches work successfully. I do believe in the value of formal training and education. I also know that deep-rooted relationships within between your staff and church body are invaluable.
I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on these matters.
This post drove my thoughts directly to Deu. 6, where it talks first about loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, and strength, and secondly, to duplicate this love for God by teaching your children as you go about your day. This seems like God's preferred method for transferring faith down through the ages. It follows that mentoring would follow the same model, just as Jesus did with His disciples. I guess I am not sure if the Church is supposed to intentionally raise up leadership. Maybe it is a semantics thing, but I think we should just seek to help everyone we can grow in their relationship with God, and let Him call the leaders-- via the gifts of Holy Spirit. However, we should live an authentic life that honors God, and seek to intentionally interact with others in a way that influences them for God's glory. This post is a great reinforcement to the message at Church this past Sunday on providential relationships. Thanks for that!
As a youth pastor, I enjoy finding potential in youth group students and helping them to develop into leaders and active church members. As you said, mentoring takes time and time I spend with these students is time I can't spend with others. It's sad how quickly mentoring by a youth pastor (or other church leader for that matter) can be seen and criticized as "favoritism." I have leaders who I'm hoping will catch my vision and begin mentoring relationships of their own. Yet parents always assume that I will be able to equally feed into the lives of all the students. I have an average of 30 on a Wednesday night and I just can't do that. I can't imagine the struggle for larger groups.
It seems to me that mentoring must become a culture rather than a few isolated incidents. And mentoring is not something that eventually ceases to be needed once you reach a certain age. I'm 28 and on staff at a church and I still desire that mentoring relationship (with someone other than my senior pastor who is also my boss).
I see mentoring throughout the Bible and Church History, yet I see very little intentionality in our churches. How do we move beyond the status quo and get people to catch the vision of feeding into the lives of others rather than just being church consumers?
Dona, I love the Deuteronomy 6 passage. This is a model in which God ordained. Your heart for maximizing the relationships in which God has given you is admirable. Keep it up!
James, good thoughts. I applaud your passion for developing students into leaders. And you're right - it doesn't stop at a magical age. Psalm 145 - One generation proclaims His greatness to the next. Good stuff.
Jason, thank you for your thoughts here.
I've seen, and have had, mentors set aside particular "mentoring hours" and then talk often of how it restricts the time they have with their family.
Like you mention here, I have seen that "doing life together" is the best route. Some of the best lessons i've learned in life were from sitting around the table with an older man while he had dinner with his family.
Things like love for your wife, guiding your children and perseverance in the work place are hard issues to teach correctly, but much easier learned when they're exemplified.
Justin, thanks so much for your contribution to the discussion. It's hard not to advocate mentoring when you can speak from your own personal experiences and how you've been impacted ny mentors. I'm glad this has been your experience as well.
Jason - Great challenge in my mind to us "older folks". We need to be willing to step up and help make a differnce in the lives of those younger people He brings into our lives.
I too was most blessed and challenged by your last two paragraphs.
I thought that Justin's comments were really right on and a model for us "doing life together", that is how we will mentor best!
Alan, thanks for the encouraging words. We're all in this together for the His fame and glory!