I'm often asked questions about being efficient at work. People will ask how I maximize my time reading and writing.

The ability of a man and woman to live with each other day after day is, as Bill Cosby once observed, "undoubtedly a miracle the Vatican has overlooked." When you factor in a prolonged sickness like cancer, ALS ("Lou Gehrig's Disease") or Alzheimer's, even the closest, most solid marital ships can find themselves near to running aground.

Regardless of these inherent dangers, those of us who are married have taken vows of commitment, generally before God and witnesses. And, most all of us make this promise to keep these vows "as long as we both shall live" or "until God shall separate us by death" or other equally strong, compelling words. Biblical admonitions about taking vows (Ecclesiastes 5:4, 5, for example) make the seriousness of such promises clear.

Recently on the 700 Club broadcast host Pat Robertson answered a viewer's question about marriage, divorce and Alzheimer's Disease. The caller wanted advice on how to speak to a friend who had entered a dating relationship with a lady because his wife had Alzheimer's and she "as he knows her is gone," speaking of her mental condition.

Christianity Today reports here.

Let me start by saying that Pat Robertson has done some good things--kingdom things--over the years. He has participated in the public square, as more Christians should. Operation Blessing is a wonderful organization. Many have been impacted by his ministry. When I met him, I found him to be a kind and gracious man. So my evaluation here should not be interpreted as yet another person on the "Bash Pat" bandwagon. Yes, Pat has said some many things I find unhelpful and just wrong, but I am glad I am not on television answering questions for hours each day. We all make mistakes.

That being said, however, what Robertson said in answer to this viewer was wrong--not just wrong, but utterly reprehensible. I hope he will apologize and do so soon.

I watched my grandfather forget my name (and just about everyone else's name) as Alzheimer's took its toll. Similar stories are already popping up on Facebook walls all across the Internet. Alzheimer's is a terrible thing, made more terrible when we abandon those who need us most.

I can appreciate that Robertson has concern for the spouse who remains healthy, and he should. But the greatest sacrifice is not that we lose our spouse to a mental black hole from which there is no return. That must be agonizing beyond words, but the answer is not abandonment of the afflicted one. Surely we cannot post-modernize "for better for worse, in sickness and in health" to cover our own feelings rather than physical realities.

But, Robertson's error reminds us that EVERY DAY we can lay down our lives for one another. It might not involve changing the diapers of a demented adult, but it very well could that or other needs for extreme sacrifice.

The famed Princeton theologian of the late 1800s-early 1900s, B.B. Warfield, knew this experience. Shortly after his graduation from Princeton and marriage to Annie Pierce Kinkead in 1876, Warfield and his new bride visited Germany where she was struck by lightning, suffering permanent paralysis. He cared for her, working his job a theologian and teacher around her needs, until her death in 1915--nearly 40 years.

Closer to our own day is the moving story of former Columbia International University president, Robertson McQuilkin and his wife, Muriel, who contracted Alzheimer's disease in 1981. After caring for her as much as possible for nine years while continuing to lead the school (including having her accompany him to classes at times) he found it unworkable to be her full time caregiver and simultaneously maintain his ministry commitments. Therefore, he resigned from the presidency of Columbia. Here is an of a portion of speech where he gives his reasoning:

Not only was Robertson McQuilkin like Jesus in keeping his word to Muriel; he was like Jesus in his love for her. In his resignation letter to the school, he made clear that he didn't think of it as his "duty" to care for her:

Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me--her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I don't have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person (quoted in Disciplines of a Godly Man, by R. Kent Hughes, p. 34).

The name of McQuilkin's own book, A Promise Kept, is as clear a statement as needs to be made. Others can refute unwise statements like those of Pat Robertson, but this how Christ's love for the church is our model-- he laid down his life. So should we. When it comes to marriage and Alzheimers, listen to Robertson McQuilken and not Pat Robertson.

I work a lot.

I am not embarrassed about that. I love what I do and I love to equip and encourage pastors and church leaders. I decided to cut back my travel in 2009 and started to implement that in 2010. And, I also decided to take my family with me.

One of the things I have learned lately is the need for family retreat. Last week, we took one of those retreats. I spoke on Transformational Church along with my co-workers. But, we also made a point of getting some time away.

We have made a point of making a trip to Glorieta each year. It is a tradition for our family. We get here early and have time as a family.

So, last week, we flew in on Friday. I spoke at Desert Springs Church (a non-denominational church pastored by Ryan Kelly) and then led three sessions at Glorieta. There was some emailing and there were some meetings, but we had some great family time at Glorieta.

Let me encourage you to consider a family retreat. I love the fact that LifeWay provides a "Minister Getaway" personal retreat rate of $39 per night for ministers and their families .

While we were there, we did some trout fishing on the Pecos.

And did some goldfish fishing at the Glorieta duck pond.

And enjoyed some time on the dock overlooking the chapel.

Donna and I walked the beautiful prayer garden.

We rode a trail.

And my kids made new friends at camp.

I don't like to use my blog for much promotion, but I want to
encourage you to get away with your family. And, I wanted to let you know about the pastors' rate at Ridgecrest (Black Mountain, NC) and Glorieta (near Santa Fe, NM). You can click here for more info about Minister Getaways at Ridgecrest and here for Glorieta.

We are headed there each year... and have started a little tradition.

Here they are in 2009:

and here they are in 2010.

I hope you will find some time to get away with your family...

Today, I preach at Jubilee Church in London and then head home to the United States where I plan to order a 64-oz. Diet Coke.

My next several road trips:

May 31, 2010
Foursquare Connection
Atlanta, GA

June 13, 2010
National Director of Missions Annual Meeting
Orlando, FL

June 14, 2010
SBC Pastors' Conference
"Greater Things"
Orlando, FL

June 15-16, 2010
Southern Baptist Convention 2010 Annual Meeting
Orlando, FL

Jun 17, 2010
Ligonier Ministries National Conference 2010
Orlando, FL

June 23-24, 2010
Churches of God "A New Tomorrow" General Conference
Decatur, IL

June 26, 2010
General Association of General Baptists Mission & Ministry Summit
Franklin, TN

See you soon on the road this summer...

This morning was a great day of worship at Two Rivers Church. We had nine families participate in a baby dedication, we celebrated Mother's Day, and I shared a message on "Trusting God Through Crises." I will post that message soon.

We were so glad to have neighbors come and worship with us-- even had some people come who needed immediate disaster relief help. Thanks to the generosity of our people and the community we were able to immediately help and serve the hurting.

I pointed out some of the things I mentioned in my last two posts, including sharing the story in The Tennessean about our webcast and reminding everyone what I have been sharing with our church family.

We have been busy, but God is good.

Here are some updates that I am sharing with my church, Two Rivers. Let me encourage you to watch the video I posted earlier this week for more details.

This is a video of our the community where the church is located and is serving. It is called "Pennington Bend" and was one of the hardest hit in the area.

Here is a video from earlier today about how you and your church can help with disaster relief efforts.

It has been a bizarre weekend in Nashville.

The Tennessean has the most extensive coverage. All the local television stations were covering this full time yesterday. Some still are today. The national news has been covering some other big stories, so many of you may not know of the severity. This is the most significant flooding that Nashville has seen in generations. I won't try to be a reporter on all things related to the flood, but I will share some personal reflections and observations. I've tweeted some news along the way, but The Tennessean has the big picture.

Below are some pictures and personal reflections on the flood.

At least according to this site (which definitely needs a new picture).

* If you can learn to order at Starbucks, then you can learn theological language at church. - 10/25/09

* In church life, the people that are rocking the boat are hardly ever the ones rowing it. -7:13 AM Oct 20th

* Even the unchurched know 2 things: Jesus loved the poor & the sick, so they're confused when they don't see us doing either. -10:18 AM Oct 3rd

* We've jazzed up the music, spiced up the sermons, and spruced up the buildings but the wheat still isn't harvesting itself. -1:53 PM Sep 30th

* Got a free first class upgrade- almost as good as getting the back row at church. ;-) Good times! -8:58 AM Sep 18th

* Headed to the orthodontist: lots of teenagers, Hannah Montana music, pink braces, and a puzzled look from them wondering why I'm there. -7:29 AM Sep 11th

* Watching the 5th season of 24 w/ Donna. She says I could whip Jack Bauer in a fight. And, Chuck Norris, too. Yep. ;-) -7:16 PM Sep 8th

* Fishing w/ my girls. If it goes well, I'll be posting pics of a HUGE fish. If not, I'll just write about the HUGE fish ;-) 2:25 PM Sep 7th

* RT: @thomrainer Marley didn't behave at vet. I responded by getting him neutered // As his employee, this concerns me. ;-) -1:57 PM Aug 29th

* Heading in to the office. Anglicans like to meet early. I need to introduce them to the slacker ways of low church evangelicalism. ;-) -4:38 AM Aug 20th

Bonus two tweets, for being our 2nd featured twit:

* Hoping to make it to worship tonight, but my wife drives the speed limit. Ugh. Like Sammy Hagar, I can't drive 55. ;-) -1:14 PM Aug 16th

* Just walked on the set where Hee Haw was filmed. Now I can die; my life is complete. ;-) -7:22 PM Aug 4th

It would appear that I use emoticons entirely too much. ;-)

I've shared a bit about my journey toward health here on the blog (here and here), mostly because many of you asked me to. Even since then I am frequently asked to post more on the subject. I've been slow to do this, but as I came across a recent study that showed a link between obesity and brain shrinkage, I thought I would jump in again.

Many of you already know that obesity (excess body fat that creates a significant health hazzard) is on the increase in our country. The Center for Disease Control explains,

Recently, I was working on my calendar and scheduling in my time with the Worldwide Church of God at their denominational annual meeting. (If you're not familiar with them, they have a fascinating history from theological error to evangelicalism.) And, it started me thinking about how I decide where and to whom I will speak.

I will consider and pray about any invitation to speak. But I do have criteria for accepting. I always ask the question: "Will what I say advance the work of the Gospel?" Of course, that's not always a controversy-free decision.

This past weekend, I spoke at Freedom Church in Gallatin, TN. As I like to do, I thought I would give a rundown of the service and share some of my observations.

First, a little about the church. The church was planted by Terrell Sommerville about seven years ago. Although it has a "non-denominational feel," the church is pretty upfront about their affiliation. They are part of a group called "The General Baptist Association of General Baptist Churches." In other words, they like the "general" nature of the atonement so much it is in their name twice! So, they are Arminian Baptists, a sister fellowship to groups like Free Will Baptists. (If you are interested, I have written about them on the blog last year.)

I met Terrell when I was preaching for their denominational annual meeting-- which I will do again this summer. Terrell is president for the GBAGBC.

Anyway, on to my observations.

One of the things I immediately noticed about the church was its focus on the unchurched. Though no one used the term, I think it would be fair to say that this was a seeker-focused church. And, the congregation was passionate about reaching people far from God.

Over 500 people attend the church each week in three services-- one Saturday night and two on Sunday morning. (Their goal is to have over 800 people attend this weekend-- with the majority of guests being unchurched people.)

I first attended the volunteer meeting before the Sunday night service. Lance Johnson led the meeting and exhorted everyone to serve with excellence and welcome newcomers. And, my favorite line was at the end when he said, "Alright, let's man our 'battle stations.'" And, they did.

There were volunteers everywhere and they were focused on connecting people to Christ and his church.

When you drive in, they are there. And, there is a "volunteer parking" section away from the main building so that the close-up parking is for new guests.

People are serving coffee and greeting one another in a small foyer-- 5 people shake your hands before you get very far:

And you can't go far without seeing their core values:

Volunteers are registering and serving children:

And, one of my personal favorite "little things" is that they use "movie theater" style ropes to block off the back rows. The back 5 rows were blocked off and then "first impressions director" (the guy in the picture) moves back the ropes on row at a time so that people fill in the front first. If you ask him why, he explains, "because guests come in late" and they don't want to embarrass them by having them walk to the front.

They are in a series right now called "Groovy," about "getting into the groove." Since I am about as cool as a 42-year-old with braces, I did not groove much, but instead preached my "Compelled by Love" message to help support their "Bring a Friend" weekend.

You can spot the "groovy" on the top of the stage:

I left reminded that there are some churches that really care about the unchurched. This is one of them.

Some of these churches are raw and gritty. Several people at Freedom told me how they just came to Christ. And, one man gave his testimony-- live. He had just become a Christ-follower and he got up and explained that this church was just edgy enough that he wanted to see more. He came to Sunday morning and then trusted Christ.

Here is a video from Terrell inviting folks to church.

One final (and long) thought. Freedom Church reminded me of a poem by Sam Shoemaker called, "I Stand by the Door." Freedom Church, and other churches like it, are passionate to reach the unchurched and "stand by the door."

You (and I) might not do everything like Freedom Church, but I think every church can learn much from their passion to reach those far from God and to plan so much of what they do to reach people in need of the gospel.

As Sam Shoemaker said, they stand by the door:

I stand by the door.

I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
The door is the most important door in the world-
It is the door through which people walk when they find God.
There's no use my going way inside, and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where a door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind people,
With outstretched, groping hands.
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it ...
So I stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for people to find that door--the door to God.
The most important thing any person can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands,
And put it on the latch--the latch that only clicks
And opens to the person's own touch.
People die outside that door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter--
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live, on the other side of it--live because they have not found it.
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him ...
So I stand by the door.

Go in, great saints, go all the way in--
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics--
It is a vast roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms.
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in,
Sometimes venture in a little farther;
But my place seems closer to the opening ...
So I stand by the door.

There is another reason why I stand there.
Some people get part way in and become afraid
Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them
For God is so very great, and asks all of us.
And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia,
And want to get out. "Let me out!" they cry,
And the people way inside only terrify, them more.
Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled
For the old life, they have seen too much:
Once taste God, and nothing but God will do any more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened
Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
To tell them how much better it is inside.
The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving--preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door,
But would like to run away. So for them, too,
I stand by the door.

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not, yet even found the door,
Or the people who want to run away again from God,
You can go in too deeply, and stay in too long,
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him, and know He is there,
But not so far from people as not to hear them,
And remember they are there, too.
Where? Outside the door--
Thousands of them, millions of them.
But--more important for me--
One of them, two of them, ten of them,
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.
"I had rather be a door-keeper ..."
So I stand by the door.

When I finished up my most recent interim, one of my friends at the church, Ken Henley, made me a caricature as a going-away gift. It is now my Twitter avatar.

Ken asked some great questions and incorporated some personal emphases into the avatar. For example, note the cell phone for Twitter, the books, and the office. Or, if you look very closely, note the title of the books to the lower left-- Ken has a theological persuasion. ;-)

Well, several of you have asked where you could get one made. You can contact Ken at kencreatesart@gmail.com and ask him. I am posting his email by permission.

I will be moving my SBC-specific blogging to here. I am privileged to be a part of the faculty at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and am excited to be a contributor to their blog.

I posted my first blog entry there this morning. It is called "Looking Back to Louisville."

Here is a commentary I wrote in a denominational publication on the second anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, six years ago:

As a child, I would visit the observation deck of the World Trade Center. My dad helped lay the iron in the basement of the buildings, and he loved to show us "his" work. My aunt's company had an office there. She was missing until the next morning after 9/11/01; she was fielding calls from the relatives of her coworkers. I had stayed in the destroyed Marriott several times as an adult. I was even in the city the week before the attacks, visiting and ministering for a church in Chinatown, just a few blocks from the World Trade Center.

I have always had a connection to New York. I was raised on the edge of the city and used to take the Long Island Railroad into Manhattan -- to Grand Central, to the Empire State Building and to that observation deck. My grandfather was a fire battalion chief and my uncle a NYC cop. So, for me, so much of that day was personal.

Most of us remember where we were. Yet, no one would know how it would end that day. When the second tower collapsed, Aaron Brown, new CNN anchor, summed it up by saying, "My Lord ... there are no words."

A few weeks ago I returned to the site of the World Trade Center. It is so different now. Everything is clean -- cleaner than before September 11. The new West Side Greenway has added a new sense of community. While there, I visited a new Southern Baptist church, Mosaic Manhattan, which meets in what would have been the shadow of the World Trade Center.

The school where Mosaic Manhattan meets, Public School 89 at the corner of Chambers and West, was an emergency triage on that fateful day. Today, the church that meets there provides spiritual healing to a lost community. Sitting there I thought about the city and its people.

On the second anniversary, we need to reflect on our response. Most of the initial unity has passed. Democrats and Republicans are not singing "God Bless America" on the capitol steps. Instead, we have moved on to Ten Commandment monuments and political campaigns.

So, how do we respond today? Like most Americans, I rejoice as we track down the bad guys. I want justice. But what the city needs most is not justice, but Jesus.

We need to take the Gospel to New York City. That may be difficult for most of us. As Southern Baptists, we tend to be a rural and southern people. Many of us say "y'all" and eat grits. Most New Yorkers don't do either -- but they still need Jesus.

In his first interview on September 11, Mayor Giuliani was asked how bad it was. He responded, "More than any of us can bear." He was right. But there is a greater tragedy. What if Southern Baptists were to minister only where they were comfortable -- in the Bible Belt?

Thousands died that day, but many more go into eternity every day without Christ. Many firemen died in the buildings, but my retired firefighter grandfather died without Christ years before. They are both tragedies.

When will we realize that it is "more then any of us can bear"? When will we be as shocked by the lostness of the world and act accordingly? When will our churches love the people of New York like we did on September 11? We sent so many work boots and water bottles that they said "no more." My prayer is that we will send as many Bibles as we did boots and as many witnesses as we did water bottles. Only then can we truly love New York.

Earlier today, I was one of 70 leaders who shared an idea or ideas (in 9 short minutes!) at The NINES. I streamed the presentations here at my blog and there was a robust discussion in the blog comments. As I hoped, there was good discussion around theology, mission, and ministry.

Now that the program has ended, I am sharing my presentation here at the blog.

Ed Stetzer - The 9s from LifeWay on Vimeo.

Here is my outline:

Mission, Self, and God's Mission

Mission is the opposite of self. We have to remember to make it about God and not about us.

Even pastors struggle with the reality that the heart is an idol factory. Your heart is an "Idol Factory" constantly creating things other than God to worship.

We must resist the pull of idols and live the mission-- to make it about God's Glory and His agenda.

We pastors too often consider ourselves as "religious professionals who can put on a show" rather than people transformed and sent on mission.

1. Those on mission focus on God's glory and His agenda
(Isaiah 6:1-8).

2. Those on mission reflect being with God
(2 Corinthans 3:16-18).

Trying to get people on mission who haven't been transformed by the gospel is a fool's errand.

3. Those on mission no longer live for themselves
(2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

It's not about thinking less of you; it's about thinking of you less.

I hope it is an encouragement to you.

Just one event this week... but it is BIG.

It is called "The Nines."

9/9/09 at... well... you guessed it, 9:09:09.

Every speaker in the world will be there as well as 6 billion attendees. (Actually, it is 70 speakers and over 6000 registrants so far, but that seems like a lot to me!)

It's on-line and free, but you have to register. And, they promise me the web streaming will work-- but we will see. ;-)

I have shared a bit of my journey to healthier living and weight loss here on the blog, so the story of Todd Starnes' transformation and his new book naturally grabs my attention. And I imagine many of my readers would benefit to hear from his as well. Todd Starnes is a best-selling author and network news reporter for Fox News Radio, based in New York City. He is also an evangelical Christian and a member of the Journey Church in Manhattan. Todd is an award-winning journalist, earning one of his profession's highest honors, the Edward R. Murrow Award and the Associated Press Mark Twain Award for Storytelling. His work is heard on more than 750 radio stations around the nation. He also hosts a religion podcast called, "FOX on Faith."

I'm kind of a big deal-- or at least that is what the faceless bureaucrats at Facebook insist. They tell me that I cannot have any more friends beyond my current 5000. And, if I want to have more friends, they have to become "fans."

Needless to say, I was not pleased. I don't want "fans," I just wanted more friends.

I have found great value in social networking, with Twitter and Facebook in particular. In the beginning I wasn't easily convinced that it would be worthwhile, but I have really enjoyed connecting with friends all over the world. Earlier this month I shared my dilemma - Facebook has a 5,000 "friend" limit, and I was maxed out. Of course, I realize that many of those friends are not people who know me personally, but I was using facebook as a means of broadly communicating with others and interacting around my Facebook "Wall" and "Notes." I have substantially more interaction on my Facebook wall than I do here on the blog.

The options weren't great, and I wasn't really sure what I was going to do, but my publisher went ahead and created a Facebook "Fan Page" for me-- without asking. This allows for as many fans/friends as desire to connect, and so I am reluctantly moving all discussion from my personal Facebook page to my "fan page."

For the record, I didn't make this move because I think "I'm kind of a big deal." Let's be honest, being a big deal on Facebook is sort of like being the Dungeonmaster in a game of Dungeons and Dragons. It really doesn't matter. This fan page is simply the best way to continue discussion on Facebook while allowing others to join in. And, all of my Twitter updates will now go there (and I have discontinued the feed on my personal page as that will soon go away).

So, if you are "friend," and want to connect, you'll need to become a "fan." I know; I hate the word "fan," so let's not even use that. Let's just be friends on a different kind of page!

I hope to see you there!

P.S. If you do not get the pop-culture reference, "I'm kind of a big deal," please forgive my attempt at self-deprecating humor. I read about it in one of my many leather-bound books. ;-)

This is a slow couple of weeks for travel, which means I will be catching up on some things at the office. Sleeping in your own bed for a whole two weeks in a row is quite an accomplishment. ;-)

I will be doing some local church speaking. For the next three Sundays, I am in different churches-- and also preaching at one church on a Monday.